Red State

That Missouri is a red state there is no doubt. But in case you need a reminder in your fridge, for $6.99 at a shop in Hermann, MO you can get a red Missouri-shaped cheese (there is no blue version).

Things I did and am still doing to keep 2016 from driving me nuts:

• discontinue satellite TV service. Bought a Roku for my one small TV and I watch selected YouTubes with it and nothing else.
• deleted my 7-year Facebook account.
• ended my newspaper subscription because it kept publishing, instead of news, "stories" about what might happen, or threatens to happen, or "reactions" to events, none of which are news.
• subscribed to enjoyable magazines instead.
• minded my own business.
• worked very hard.
• worked on changing my habits of thought.
• quit trying to control the future.
• visited a foreign country; very educational.
• deep breathing exercises.
• yoga.
• Pilates.

These Are The Times

One last Portugal-related post, a glimpse into how some in that part of the world parse the U.S. This entertaining image is from a magazine cover, of a news-digest kind of magazine. I can't read Portuguese, but I figured this one out, given the context. Artist unknown:

And, unrelated, the most memorable thing anyone said to me there was, "In your country, time is money. In Portugal, time is time."

My Mom for President

Elect my mom president of the United States and the budget will be balanced in five days. The occupation of Iraq will end when she says so: no ifs, ands or buts about it. Osama Bin Laden will quake in his boots, and if he bombs anything she will clean his clock and show him who is boss. There will be no shenanigans in the Oval Office. You'd better believe the White House will be tidy and there will be no eating at the desks. Rich folks will be taxed until they're in the same boat as the rest of us.

President Mom's cabinet will be working women who know how to juggle everything in the world and get things done. She will award medals to stay-at-home mothers, nurses, cancer patients, and graduate students. Dick Cheney will soon be laughing out of the other side of his mouth. When the Democrats and Republicans have stupid arguments she will say "Cut it out or I'll knock your heads together."