Stepped on a rake once. The handle up and hit me in the face. Thank God no one saw me. I was 48 years old.
Anyone moving to the country in mid-life has to take the motto "Live and learn." You're going to get cut, scraped, sweaty, bitten. Ants will float in your coffee. I found a wasp drowned and ambered in my jar of honey. You'll slip and fall and be stupid. Live and learn.
A couple days after a flood I stepped up on what seemed like solid-packed creekside debris and fell through it up to my hips.
Stepped in quicksand (silica makes top-notch quicksand). It was like cookie dough and I couldn’t fix it to get one leg out so I could pull out the other one.
On a slick riverbank, fell backward into a bed of stinging nettle. Didn’t know what it was. Eight seconds later I figured it out.
Make sure guests don't park beneath the tree when the hickory nuts are dropping.
Clapped a fat huge four-inch tomato hornworm between two bricks. Thought I was being clever. It squirted 360 degrees all over creation including onto my glasses and mouth.
Oh, it don’t matter if that machete is a little too weighty for me and has a dull blade. . . .
Live here and learn.