Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Things Mom Did That I Don't

  • dust with Pledge.
  • towel-dry the dishes and put them away. To this day I ask her why not air-dry the dishes. She simply doesn't like leaving them out.
  • percolate coffee.
  • sneezed violently all day instead of using antihistamines.
  • her own taxes.
  • set her hair in brush rollers pinned with pink plastic pins, and then sleep wearing the whole assembly.
  • wear a real rubber girdle--a sheath with pinholes for ventilation--and when rubber ones were no longer made, she wore a spandex girdle. When I was a kid I asked her why women wore girdles and she said it wasn't nice for ladies to wiggle.
  • have children. She made it look extremely difficult.
  • hung clothes and sheets on a line. We used to steal the clothespins and make puppets out of them.
  • make and fry doughnuts. The five of us ate them all within minutes.
  • remove mice from traps. I toss the trap with the mouse still in it.
  • had a cookie jar.
  • darned socks and sweaters, inserting a light bulb and patching the hole over it.
  • canning, always on the hottest day in August, with an electric fan whirring to no effect.
  • put clothes through a wringer.

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