The Old Horseshoe

The old bent horseshoe came with the house and hung above this particular door, outside, "heels down," for, like, 15 years until one nail came loose and I took the shoe down and left it by the door intending to nail it up again, and today was the day.

It's iron, all right: hot from the sun. I admit I'd never seen or touched a real horseshoe; this one still has one horseshoe nail. Age and origin unknown. Horseshoes repel evil. The tale is told of an Irish blacksmith confronted by the Devil, who demanded shoes for his hooves, right now! The blacksmith nailed on such painful shoes that the Devil screamed, pried them off, threw them aside and vanished, never again to bother humans at their work. (If you are idle, that's another story.) The Devil, traumatized, hasn't come near a horseshoe in ages.

It's also said their crescent shape or iron content repels evil spirits and that's why it's hung above the door.

Furthermore, it's said that nailed with heels up, the horseshoe is filled with, and retains, good luck. The Divine Cabin's horseshoe had been originally nailed heels down, and plenty of folks advised me that was not lucky. The lived experience with that door -- the late Demetrius's favorite port of entry to the room he favored and trashed -- was unlucky. Others say "heels down" lets the luck pour down on everybody passing through that door. Well, that's an old wives' tale, seems to me.

I'm lucky to be the owner and beneficiary of a real horseshoe, and to have the Divine Cabin, am probably the world's luckiest person, and want to keep my luck. Nailed the horseshoe up best I could, crooked and off-center, but hey. Or maybe I should turn it sideways. But then --  heels to the right or the left?

Despicable Me

My solution to craving junk food is to order a Happy Meal for only $3, containing much less food than a standard order of burger and fries. Select chocolate milk with it and you can't lose...and inside every Happy Meal is some kind of a toy or game. Today I scored a set of Despicable Me playing cards. What is this "Despicable Me" I keep hearing about? Some kind of children's movie? Animated? Why would I want to watch a movie titled Despicable Me when I'd much rather see Despicable You starring certain real-life characters who shall remain nameless unless you take me to lunch at a much nicer place than McDonald's?

In any case--helpless people being the most superstitious--I decided that fate had handed me an oracle and I would unwrap and open the box and choose a card at random from the deck, and this card would predict my future. I said, "I will believe this card no matter what it says. I commit to believing this card will tell me the truth. I won't second-guess it. I will accept it." And I grab a random card and it is the Queen of Diamonds. Surprisingly she does not look despicable at all, but rather nice. And since when is the somewhat advanced vocabulary word "despicable" used for children's anything? This totally confusing me no end except that I do believe I will soon be the Queen of Diamonds.

Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits

An old superstition says: On the first day of every month, the first thing you should say aloud is "Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits." This brings good luck. My rigorous testing has proved it absolutely true. This young bunny breakfasts and dines in my yard, and over the past month I have been trying to gain its trust, quietly inching closer to get better photos of it. Please, politely disregard the quite obvious fact that I have neglected to mow my yard.

Very Superstitious

Propane tanks have gauges that go from 0 to 100. Higher means fuller. Lower means it's running out.

But rather like the belief that broken cookies have no calories -- I believed that IF I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE GAUGE the gas level would not change. Because life is a matter of faith and belief.

In October I filled the tank, expecting 8 to 11 months of heat as always. And was carefree. Then a friend called yesterday and said, "Checked your propane tank?"

I said, I don't need to, there's plenty. He said, Check it anyway, please, the weather's going to be cold. I said, I know what I'm doing, and Why are you trying to make me anxious?

Back and forth for a while until I said, Okay okay, just to shut you up. So I go out and check it and guess what? The needle was on the ZERO!

Oh, I had to eat serious, major crow -- raw! -- and phone the propane company at once and pay their squeeze-the-turnip winter rate of $2.84/gallon. But their delivery truck didn't come today. Maybe because it's too cold.

I shut off my furnace so it won't suck air, and now I'm sittin in my parka, stocking cap, leg warmers, etc. in my 49 degree house, believing the truck will come tomorrow.