The Cringe Files: Words and Phrases

"No offense, but..."
"To be honest..."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that"
"You shouldn't feel that way"
"Bae"
"Well there ya go"
"No pressure"
"How do you want to pay?"
"shooter"
"hump day"
"people skills"
"criss-cross applesauce"
"nom nom"
"the new normal"
"hubby"
"preggers"
"tiny house"
"vajayjay"
"so aggravating"
"with all due respect"
"selfie"
"God help them"
"staff reduction"
"bumptious"
"I'm sorry I'm not the person you thought I was"
"sending thoughts and prayers"
"I didn't want to hurt you"
"smackeroonies"
"team player" 
"business plan"
"he really s--- the bed on that one"
"horny"
"with that being said..."

Feel free to add your own. . . fees are on a sliding scale. . . How do you want to pay?

"Well, Dang"

Even on bright sunny days, in November we seriously need day-brighteners -- especially on the first day of adult firearm deer-hunting season when we are NOT heading to the woods for fresh air and communion with nature -- and while on the road in Gasconade County with neighbor Terri in search of a good German meal (we found it at Stone Hill Winery in Hermann) we saw this, and because we don't see pink tractors very often, we said, "Well, dang." That got me thinking what else we say that conveys disbelief:

• Well, I'll be.
• Well, slap my a-- and call me Sally.
• Well, I'll be darned.
• Well, I'll be dipped in s---.
• Well, dog my cats.
• Well, I swan (or "I swannee").
• Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
• Well, melt me down.
• Well, knock me down and steal my teeth.

It's better 'n' a sharp stick in the eye.