I’ve discussed Midwestern dating. Now I address Midwestern dining, specifically home cooking for company. I’m a cook so I know.
- Fry it, they’ll like it.
- Grilled Sea-Bass Tacos with Fresh Peach Salsa and no one will ever marry you.
- Serve Four-Cheese Macaroni and 3 of your cheeses are wasted.
- “Seafood steaks” is an oxymoron. I made tuna steaks & cream sauce for my mom and stepdad in 1994, and the only meal they hated more was my cousin’s new wife’s Duck L’Orange in 1971 -- and I still haven’t heard the end of it.
- Midwestern adults aren’t afraid of squash.
- These are the best people to invite to a potluck, but they call their own such parties “pot blessings.”
- A Midwestern all-day picnic is the greatest experience life has to offer.
- God gave you elbows so you can put them on the table and eat more.
- I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter should be served in its tub so as to prove its authenticity.
- Midwestern men are the best grillers in the world.
