As daylight shortens and nights grow long:- watch and laugh at YouTube videos of parrots taught to swear
- buy something on eBay or Amazon every day before getting out of bed in the morning
- stave off morning coffee to extend the small pleasure of looking forward to it
- tap "Like" on every Facebook post
- stay up until 3:00 a.m. mending all the torn clothes and altering all the too-long sleeves piled up during the last five months
- buy and eat Hershey bars
- buy and eat Hostess Snowballs
- procrastinate if there's any work to do
- scroll through hundreds of the latest memes
- scroll through hundreds of before-and-after photos of plastic surgery
- attend fall festivals for 20 minutes and then go home
- drink
