Please Don't Rob, Jail or Shoot Us, Because We're. . .

"The Lord is My Shepherd," "I Can Do All Things Through Christ," "Grateful Thankful Blessed," "I'm Not Lucky, I'm Blessed," "Saved by Grace and Faith," "Worry Ends Where Faith Begins," "Corinthians 13.7," "Trust in the Lord," etc. etc. in an establishment owned by folks with Hispanic surnames who appear to be Hispanic too. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

When I was in Branson, MO for an overnight I saw similar sayings papered all over, worked into the shows, Jesus this and that, at a size and volume new to me, and I've been alive and a Missourian for quite some time and I'm an Aquarius so I analyze everything.

When you love God or Jesus and are truly sustained by faith or keep wise sayings and verses and gratitude close to your heart, you don't need to blare that all over, do you, unless 1) You want everyone to know, which is the opposite of how Jesus said to handle it; and 2) You want everyone convinced that you believe these things; 3) you want make it plain you belong to the same Jesus Club most other people around here belong to and know enough not to offend the club's ruling class by displaying graven images; and 4) you think these decorations have power beyond their decorativeness, or you think others believe that and want to keep them comfortable and pacified; 5) you wish to make the point that you speak and read English and not any of those offensive "other" languages except for the bit of Spanish everybody speaks, consisting of "Mi casa, su casa"; 6) you are somewhat concerned that other Jesus Club members will bust your door down and deport you whether you're a citizen or not, or rob you or spray your place with an AR-15 because they are bothered by your surname or skin color, and you are doing your best to establish yourself as entirely non-threatening supporters of the home team who only hope to make a living selling really good food.

Emphasis on #6. In fact you don't even have to be brown for that to happen to you.

Ye Shall Know Them

I plant arugula, a peppery little salad green, always, because it's easy to grow -- like a weed, the more you ignore it the better -- and because it's expensive at the store. The seeds resemble poppy seeds. In March I poked a pencil tip into the cold ground, dropped a seed in the hole, and after 30 days, ruffly healthy plants. Clip the larger leaves to eat and the plant will generously make some more.

The most helpful quotation I know comes from gardening: "By their fruits ye shall know them." (Matthew 7:20). It reminds me that we are what we do, not what we say. You can gauge moral character by the results of people's actions, by the grace or disorder they leave in their wake. Just sayin'.

Last Supper Re-Enactment, Pacific, MO

On Good Friday, the Pacific Christian Church put on its annual Last Supper re-enactment with samples of Passover foods. Beardless Jesus is second from left; bearded Judas sits on his left and beloved John on his right. That Supper was a Passover meal and the audience heard the Passover songs and prayers and, in little plastic containers, got tastes of unleavened bread, bitter herbs (parsley in salt water that represented the tears of the enslaved Hebrews), and roast lamb (wow), and grape juice subbing for wine. The kids asked questions as is traditional at Passover, and a woman was there because women light the candles and of course a woman must have been serving and cleaning up. Just as the Bible says, Judas was fingered as the betrayer and fled into the night; Peter was crushed to learn he would deny Jesus three times before dawn. It was a miracle that the church or their wives talked these guys into dressing up and doing this, and one of them had glasses on, but it was a respectful performance and a really good spiritual experience.

Advice for Single Ladies

To all the girls who are in a rush to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: "Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait for your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz.  -attributed to Hubert Brandon