11 Reasons Why MO is Better than WI

I love Wisconsin, but in Missouri we have:

1. Barbecue
2. Tomatoes and okra in one can
3. Very few ice storms
4. Grits
5. Fossils
6. Hills
7. Polite teenagers, most of 'em
   
8. Banks that give out bags of fresh popcorn on Fridays, and celebrate their birthdays with public hot-dog cookouts in their parking lots
9. Legal fireworks
   
10. Armadillos
11. Postal clerks who will weigh your biggest tomato (Last one I saw: an old man brought in a tomato tipping the scale at 2 lbs. 1 oz; everybody in the waiting-line cheered.)